The Second Coming: David H. Burton

David Burton's new novel is called The Second Coming, and it's also his second coming--to Aberration Nation, that is. During his first visit, David shared his thoughts about raising three sons with his partner as well as overcoming life's aberrations. His thought-provoking interview caused quite a stir on my Facebook page, and the topic of his new novel has the same potential. Take a look at the book trailer:



If creativity is all about thinking outside the box, expansion, and opening doors to new possibilities, David seems to be fearless.

In his book, Maps and Legends, Reading and Writing Along the Borderlands, Micheal Chabon says, "... I find myself writing about disturbing or socially questionable acts and states of mind that have no real basis in my life at all, but which, I am afraid, people will quite naturally attribute to me when they read what I have written." Sure, to some extent, everything we create comes from within, but does it have to completely define us? That's a bit limiting and narrow-minded.

If David writes an apocalyptic novel, inventing unimaginable outcomes involving God, does that make him some sort of scary sacrilegious weirdo or devil worshiper?

No.

It makes him entertaining and thought provoking. Creative folks aren't trying to tell you how or what to think. That would be counterproductive to the general creative mantra of individuality. What we can do is provide content, ideas, different scenarios, and visual or auditory stimulation that help those around us--readers, art and music lovers, movie watchers--expand their thinking. Sometimes it takes what may be deemed as "over the top" to do the trick.

A few years ago, I read Holy Blood, Holy Grail, a nonfiction work by Michael Baigent, Richard Leigh and Henry Lincoln. Apparently Dan Brown based much of his novel, The Da Vinci Code, on its premise and research. It was one of the most interesting books I've ever read. I learned a tremendous amount. I carefully considered the historical information presented and the sources, and sorted out what I felt might be accurate and what might be a stretch. Then I balanced that against what I was taught growing up, in both church and school.

Later I decided that my mother, who is a devout Christian, might find it interesting. I thought the history provided might give her interesting insight into her own vast historical knowledge about the Bible and Biblical times. I wasn't asking her to believe any of it; I just felt that it was thought provoking and highly interesting content to add to the mix.

My suggestion didn't go over so well. I got an instant "NO," followed by an passionate lecture about what's wrong with the world, evil influences, lies, persecution of Christians, etc. While she went on and on, I kept thinking ... I should have known better.

What was she so afraid of?

David's novel apparently pushes some boundaries that may put a few folks up in arms. My opinion is: it's fiction! It's supposed to be entertaining, and perhaps thought provoking.

Let's not instantly run from a new creative idea, whether strictly fictional or filled with real life. Look what The Da Vinci Code, Brokeback Mountain, Look Whose Coming to Dinner, and Harry Potter gave us. Sure, maybe there were those who said, "It's creative works such as these that tear rips in the fabric of our society!" However, on a positive note, one might consider that these projects spurred millions to:

• contemplate and reaffirm their religious beliefs (Da Vince Code)
  
• learn more about art (Da Vince Code)
  
• look into the soul of a gay man and feel compassion (Brokeback Mountain)
  
• think about inter-racial marriage in a new way (Look Whose Coming to Dinner)
• fall madly in love with reading (Harry Potter)

The ability to create great works often requires bravery.

I often wonder if most highly creative people are born knowing what they want to do. Have you always wanted to be a writer, or was it a specific creative interest that evolved over time?

I can't say that I always wanted to be a writer. That didn't strike me until much later in life, well after I'd graduated from university. It was a strange moment when it happened. I tend to read fantasy, and on one particular day I was reading what was supposed to be a critically acclaimed trilogy from a well known author. I struggled to get through the series. I forced myself to read the first two books thinking that I must be missing something. Then half-way through the last book of the trilogy I threw it on the bed and said, "Oh my god, I can do better." A little light went off that day when I realized that I could take a shot at writing.

I never finished reading the book. It was a little smarmy of me to think I could immediately write better than that particular author. It took years of working on this craft to get where I am now. And what's great is that I continue to grow as a writer. I've really enjoyed the journey.

I've been digressing a little with this question, so I want to bring it back to when you asked, "Was it a specific creative interest that evolved over time?" The other day I came across an old report card from Grade Three. I've always been an avid reader, and back then I received an award for having read something like 200 books. But what was really interesting in the report card was that my teacher had indicated that I had a talent for writing and story-telling. I had a really good laugh when I read it. Maybe it was meant to be. :)

Do you have other creative interests, and if so, what are they?

I'm not sure that I can call it a creative interest, but in the early years of the Internet I was designing web sites and doing graphic work to help pay my way through university. I love beautiful web design/graphics/video. I only dabble in it since writing is my greatest vice. What's interesting is that you have to be pretty Internet-savvy as an author now, so it's a great marriage of two of my creative interests.

There is a stereotype that creative people are "different," which can be a positive or a negative at times. What are your thoughts on this?

Oh, I LOVE different.

Even though I tend to be pretty vanilla on the quirkiness scale, I love quirky people and I see different as a completely positive trait. Who wants to conform? Also, I live in Canada, where we tend to celebrate our differences (cultural and otherwise). Also, I’m openly gay so I guess I fall into that “different” category.

As for creative people being different, I don't know. If you meet me in person, I'm pretty "ordinary" (whatever that means nowadays), so I can't say that creative people are all that different. Or maybe I'm not creative enough! LOL!

Do you believe being creative has caused you aberrations in life, helped you deal with life's aberrations, or both? Has being creative caused them?

No. Being openly gay? Yes. And during times of greatest difficulty I often turned to writing to help me through. So I guess that being creative has helped me to cope with what life has chosen to throw my way. But even more so, my sense of humour has made the difference. Laughter has helped me get through a lot of things in life. Without being able to laugh at oneself, I think we'd all go crazy.

Have you had to deal with people in your life failing to understand your creative drive? If so, can you tell us about it and how you've dealt with it?

I've been very fortunate. My partner has been with me throughout my writing journey and he has been unbelievably supportive. He's made it possible for me to write when I need to. That being said, we have children (three boys) and I have a full-time job, so obviously there has to be a balance between being creative and life. There are days when I would just love to immerse myself in writing and forget everything else, but I have to schedule that around life. :)

I often wonder, "Am I truly creative or do I just think I am?" Have you ever wondered about this? In a world filled with creative people and people who think they're creative, how have you been able to distinguish yourself and your talent, despite any doubts along the way?

From a creative standpoint, I've never really given it any thought. I just do what I do because I love it. Now, have I ever wondered if my writing was good enough to be published? Yes, I used to. But not so much any more. I was in a writing workshop for a couple of years and I spent a lot of time working on the craft of writing. It was a very humbling experience, but like with anything else, it got better with practice. And for the longest time I doubted if I would ever be good enough. As for “distinguishing myself,” I'm releasing my first novel as an e-book. I designed the cover and made the book trailer myself. So I'm certainly curious as to how the marriage of my various creative outlets will be received.

Will I distinguish myself, let's see what happens. :)

Unfortunately, many creative people never achieve the success they dream about. How did (or do) you cope with disappointments? What motivated you to keep going, to not give up?

Rejection can be hard but over the years I've managed to get some perspective. When it comes to the creative arts, it's a very subjective world. I've had wonderful rejections from editors that said they loved the writing and would have acquired a book like mine a few years ago, but they're looking for something different right now. I've had editors not identify with any of the characters, yet others love them. So when it comes to success in the creative world, I think it's a lot about timing--having the right project land in the right person's lap at the right time. And until that happens, you continue doing what you do and enjoy it.

I write because I love it, not because I have to. And fortunately I don't rely on my creative outlets to pay the bills, so that takes a lot of stress out of it. As for motivation, there have been some very supportive people in my life and I have the most wonderful agent who has stood behind me all the way. Her confidence in me and my writing has been a significant boost.

I often wonder about the similarities and differences creative people have in terms of though processes. How would you describe your creative process? How does your mind work?

Good question. In the beginning, I don't plan my projects. I just sit in front of the keyboard and see where my fingers take me. I've started projects that I've abandoned and others that I've completed. I've often thought of my fingers as channeling some unseen muse because I'm always surprised at what appears on the screen. Characters will introduce themselves or they'll do things that are completely unexpected, and what's exciting for me is that it's like I'm reading someone else's novel for the first time. It's great.

Later comes the hard part, and that's taking what I've started and molding it into a more coherent story. Sometimes I have to kill off characters that I've come to really like, but it needs to be done for the sake of the story. Despite how hard that may be, I really enjoy it. I love the editing process.

What are the top three characteristics of a highly creative person, in your opinion?

First, I suppose you must love what you're doing. When it becomes work, it's not creative anymore.

Second, I guess would be sacrifice. You must be willing to sacrifice some things in life in order to follow your creative pursuit, but I don't think it needs to be significant. We need to live our lives and quite honestly, life offers so much inspiration for the creative process. There's so much to draw upon around us in the things we do and the people we interact with.

So that brings me to the third characteristic: the desire to live life to the fullest. Without that, what's it all for?

Many creative people have tons of ideas but never follow through. I'm not sure if it's because they lack drive, organization, or focus. What are your thoughts on this phenomenon?

I know a lot of people that start one thing, move to the next, and so on, and never see anything finished. I'm not exactly sure why they don't see it through. A lot of people start writing and sometimes that sacrifice element isn't strong enough and they abandon it. It takes a lot to see the creative process through to the end. Or maybe some people are so creative they move to the next thing without needing to see it finished. Maybe those of us that see it through to completion aren't the creative ones at all. Maybe we're too focused on the ends versus the means. :)

Help Me Love Your Dog

Note: So what does helping me love your dog have to do with creativity? Well, it's an example of how someone who's never owned a dog can sell an article about dogs to the top dog magazine in the world (long story). How's that for creativity?
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The love you have for your dog is a beautiful thing, but not everyone shares your instinctual urge to commune with man’s best friend. Gilda Radner said, “Dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me they are the role model for being alive.” If you agree with Gilda, you may wonder why in the world anyone would not enjoy dogs. The Royal Canin Scientific Library lists numerous advantages to dog ownership including:

• added social stimulation within the family
• companionship from the dog, which is especially important for persons living alone
• relaxation that comes from walking the dog, playing with him and petting him
• the sense of protection that the entire family feels in the presence of a dog who guards the house, and understanding and sympathy from the animal, which at times are apt to transform human beings.

However, according to the American Pet Products Manufacturing Association (APPMA), only thirty-nine percent of U.S. households value these advantages enough to own at least one dog. This means that sixty-one percent are dog-free. Approximately 74.8 million dogs have owners. Meanwhile, 4-5 million cats and dogs enter shelters each year with 25% of those dogs being purebred. The most significant issue impacting these statistics is animal population control, which garners strong attention from the dog lover camp.

But what about the untapped issue of the dog lover population?

There are varying degrees of animal interest and love. It’s important for dog owners to understand that while many non-dog owners think puppies are adorable, too, they choose not to own dogs for highly specific and personal reasons. Can dog-lovers change their minds and subsequently place more dogs into loving homes? Can you help increase the dog-lover population? It may be possible in some cases.

You can personally impact the situation by making a few simple alternations to your typical dog-loving behaviors. To do this, you must better understand what motivates those living without dogs, and value their choices as relevant and important. Some common behaviors of die-hard pooch lovers do little to influence us in a positive way, which is counterproductive to the mission of dog owners everywhere.

There are numerous factors that influence the decision not to own a dog including: fear, cost, general responsibility, time, scratches and chew marks on the furniture, dog walking in rain and snow, unwelcome licks to the face, picking up “messes,” barking, allergies, and shedding. Louise Kemper of Shreveport, La, says her main reason for not owning a dog is the cost and added responsibility. “I like dogs and have owned one in the past, but now that my kids are grown, I enjoy not having the added responsibility. My time is more my own now. I do think dogs are great company for people as they get older, so I’ll never say never. But for now I prefer not to own a dog.”

Here’s this writer's story. When I was seven years old, someone accidentally bounced me off a trampoline. My tiny body flew through the air, eventually landing on the grass four or five feet away. As I recovered from the shock and struggled to catch my breath, the trampoline owner’s large dog jumped on me, most likely thinking I was a new toy being tossed his way. Fetch! I scrambled to my feet and raced to the swing set, barking dog close behind. As I climbed the slide ladder, the dog grabbed my leg with his teeth. Needless to say, it was a stressful day, one that stuck with me long after the initial trauma subsided.

Looking back, I wonder, where were the adults? I don’t recall being asked when I arrived if I had a dog, or if I was comfortable around them. I had no understanding of typical dog behaviors. To this day, I’ve never owned a dog, largely based on my trampoline experience. There are some common dog-owner behaviors that discourage Louise Kemper, other non-dog owners, and myself from crossing over. These include:

• not mentioning their dog before we show up at their home
• not properly controlling their dog when we come over, or
• failing to remove their dog when we reluctantly confide that we’re uncomfortable.

Once I was given a piece of pizza at a dog-owner’s home. Within seconds, their Doberman scooped the pizza off my plate and into his large, sticky mouth. The owners laughed and said they’d get me another one. This coupled with their large dog aggressively bolting around the house, sniffing me, and essentially trying to climb on me all night, discouraged my openness to dog ownership.

According to Samuel Gosling, Associate Professor of Psychology at the University of Texas at Austin, an expert who studies dog personalities to better understand human personalities, “Any social interaction is affected by both the dog and the human with whom it is interacting so both individuals play a role. However, it's certainly true that some dogs are generally more aggressive towards strangers than others.”

Lynne Sabo of Florham Park, NJ, has owned dogs her entire life, often several at a time. According to Lynne, “There is a pecking order for dogs. They naturally seek to establish dominance. If they sense intimidation, their nature is to take charge. They want to show that they are the dominate one in the situation, which creates added discomfort for the person. It’s the responsibility of the dog owner to make sure people are comfortable in their home. I always initially put my dogs out when people are coming over. I absolutely love my dogs but I value friendship and human relationships over those with animals, something I’ve seen other dog-owners fail to do.”

Many of us would like to cross over but need your help. Please help me love your dogs. It may not always be obvious, but every time I see a cute, fluffy pup, I feel a natural urge to try.

Help Me Love Your Dog

Top 20 Tips for Dog Owners

20. Tell me you have a dog before I come to your home.

19. Ask me if I’m uncomfortable, and if I am, remove the dog. Don’t just smile and keep repeating, “He won’t hurt you. He won’t hurt you,” while he’s jumping on me.

18. Don’t let your dog eat my pizza.

17. Don’t assume everyone shares your love for dogs.

16. Don’t judge me for being uncomfortable around dogs or for not owning one.

15. Pick up after your dog so that I don’t find souvenirs in my yard.

14. Acknowledge that dogs are not humans when we’re chatting about our kids.

13. Give me gentle advice if I want to pet or hold your dog, realizing that it may be a big deal for me.

12. Don’t let your dog jump on me. If he does, don’t act like I should be enjoying it when you can clearly see me sweating bullets.

11. Don't treat your dog better than you treat people.

10. Help me feel comfortable in your home; it’s not always easy to tell someone you’re uncomfortable with their beloved dog.

9. Don’t let your dog lick my face; although it may be an irrational fear, it exists because I was bitten by a dog as a child.

8. Keep telling me wonderful stories about your dog. Focus on those instead of how your dog had diarrhea all night and how much you had to pay the vet.

7. Please, please, take special care with your dog when my child is coming to your home.

6. Recognize that owning a dog is a huge responsibility that some people are not up to for various reasons.

5. Keep your dog clean!

4. Realize and accept that barking dogs can cause headaches, fear, inability to concentrate, inability to sleep, and can, at times, seem like torture.

3. Do not expect the same attention for your dog’s death as your co-worker received for the death of their mother or child.

2. Keep posting pictures of cute puppies on the Internet!

And the number one thing you can do to help ...

1. Don’t allow your pooch to sniff me in places I choose to keep to myself. (-:

A Crazy Heart: Why was Bad Bad?

" ... who is real country?"

I haven't been to see a movie by myself in many years, but today I slipped into the 12:25 all alone. I wanted to see Crazy Heart with the person I am when I'm by myself. I suspected the movie would pull that person out, and when she fully emerges, I usually feel very alone anyway.

It's not a bad thing. It just is.

So me and myself bought our ticket, got the popcorn, and found a seat. You must have heard by now that Jeff Bridges is on the short list to win best actor for this gig. After seeing Crazy Heart, my bet is that he'll win. It's not the kind of movie that everyone will fall in love with, but it was the kind of performance that held up a mirror ... at least for me.

As I watched, I wondered (in a deep way) why Bad Blake was bad and what this was meant to tell the folks looking into the Jeff Bridges mirror. How did he get that way? Why did he have to be that way? The truth is, he wasn't bad. He was human, and he just happened to be highly creative--a deeply sensitive soul with strong convictions that were most likely mismatched with many of the particulars that make up the typical life.

Many of us put a lot of effort into numbing ourselves. Bad's elixir was alcohol. It's tough to feel so much, to have so much to express. And in times when there's no outlet, it can become unbearable. Sometimes when feeling desperate or overwhelmed, there's an intense urge to take an action, regardless of circumstances. The numbing helps with that. Sure, lots of folks choose alcohol or other drugs. But there are many more surprising devices that also work: jobs, religion, family. Just about anything you can completely bury your self under can do the trick.

At the start of the movie, Bad Blake was busy wallowing in some creative disappointments he'd had. Sure, he was still out there doing his thing but he wasn't all there. Rather than creating new work, he was replaying the old.

Then he met someone.

Isn't that how it always happens? Certainly in movies it is. I thought hard about how this gritty lonely, disappointed musician and a soft, sensitive single-mom-writer could fall in love so quickly. Well ... it was a movie, after all. Duh!

But wait, that happens in real life, too. At least it does to people like me. There are all kinds of real love, and they're all good. They're all right. But sometimes we stumble upon someone who steps out of the blue and gives us a profound SNAP! Often these snap-out-of-it-connections are extremely intense, and the people involved must eventually part ways for some reason or another. Perhaps these connections are good for us in the moment, orchestrated by unknown forces we've yet to understand. Maybe the intensity needed to make that snap is simply too overwhelming for the long haul.

As the movie continued, I wondered if creative people ("the real deal") must always toss their cookies into toilets and numb away their demons to inevitably create? And how is that fair? I've tossed enough cookies for a lifetime. I don't want to do that anymore. In the end, Bad Blake wasn't tossing anything but a fantastic song. The music came back to him due to his ability to finally let himself feel something again. After that snap, he couldn't go back. It gave him new courage to take a chance that peeking out of that numbass state might just have some positive outcomes if he was willing to accept the bad.

Even in Bad's badness, he held true to a certain mantra. Early in the movie, his new woman friend, a reporter, asked, "In today's world, who is real country?" And I thought to myself, "Who is real art? Who is real writing?" To quote my mentor Bob Hogge, "There is true talent, and there is commercialized talent." So where are the Bad Blakes of our time? Are they lying drunk on dirty couches in small hotel rooms; strolling multiple children around the mall too busy to feel; or sticking their heads so far into Bibles that they don't have to accept responsibility for what they've been gifted, get off their asses, and contribute?

Meanwhile, the machine charges forward, taking those who are willing to pitch tents in dens full of thieves and do whatever is necessary to make a buck or two. (Trust me, I know it's not always an either/or situation, and that many of us walk the line as much as we can to see a tiny slit of success. After all, Bad Blake had an agent, too.)

In the end, each of us, whether creative or not, chooses who we will be to the world whether or not that matches with who we really are. I was happy to see Bad turn better. And the truth is that all cleaned up and shiny, he was still the same gifted person. You don't always have to be bad to be good.

I also went to the hair salon this morning. As my beautician was changing the colors in my hair, I came across a magazine quote by Ellen Degeneres. She said, "Be true to yourself and the rest will follow." Everywhere Bad went, folks deeply respected him. However, he was often too numb to recognize their awe. This made me wonder if I give enough credit to those in my life who support me, who believe in my talents and abilities.

Am I too quick to belittle the respect that's close and all around because I'm too busy believing that the real respect has yet to arrive? Crazy Heart made me consider which is more important.

With all this in mind, I've decided to add Bad Blake (even though he's actually a fictional character) to my list of Aberration Nation honorary members. Jeff Bridges may not be as excited about his Aberration Nation award as he is with the golden ones but something tells me Bad Blake would accept with pride.

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Visit Jeff Bridges' web site.

See the sidebar for a full list of honorary members.

Vessel of Passion: Lisa See

"It takes a long time to come to a place where you can say that the art—the act of creating—is more important than your own fear."

My guest today, author Lisa See, believes that passion is the single most important thing for writers and other types of artists. I happen to have an unusual passion for the dictionary so I decided to remind myself what passion really means and how this might relate to creativity.

After teasing out the references to Christ (which some might say play a role in creativity as well), I found quite a few thought provoking definitions.

Passion

1) any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling, as love or hate.

2) strong amorous feeling or desire; love; ardor.

3) strong sexual desire; lust.

4) a person toward whom one feels strong love or sexual desire.

5) an instance or experience of strong love or sexual desire.

6) a strong or extravagant fondness, enthusiasm, or desire for anything.

7) the object of such a fondness or desire.

8) an outburst of strong emotion or feeling.

9) violent anger.

10) the state of being acted upon or affected by something external, esp. something alien to one's nature or one's customary behavior.

11) the sufferings of a martyr.

Of course, it's not surprising that almost all of these definitions have to do with sex and emotions such as desire, love, and anger. You've got your outbursts, violence, and suffering to the point of martyrdom. Toss in a little tingling tension brought about by all things alien and non-customary behaviors, and you've identified just about everything that makes art (writing, painting, music, etc.) great.

And according to Lisa, all this needs to squeeze into a fragile vessel made up of 98% water?

No wonder it's tough. No wonder so many give up or experience exciting pseudo-passion in artistic one night stands. It's not so stressful to enjoy a bite here and there only to walk away when it's convenient.

Have you ever been in wild, passionate love that you know--beyond a shadow of a doubt--could last forever? I hope so. It's often described as intensely beautiful and painful all at once. That's exactly what it's like to have the creative passion Lisa talks about. On one hand, you're desperate to be free of it--to shake it off-so you can just relax. But on the other hand, you're so titillated and obsessed that all the misery becomes worth one single moment of satisfaction.

When you experience that kind of ongoing, intense desire/love for someone, just being the same room can be enough. Sometimes just a touch of their hand or a smile does it for you--makes all the misery worthwhile, that is. But of course you want more!

And so you go for it!

If for some reason you don't, or you fall short of your goal, you never forget. No matter what you do, where you go, or who else you love, you carry those emotions with you. In some fantastical way that person crawled beneath your skin and settled there, making themselves a piece of who you are.

The good news is that when this level of passion exists for an art form, it's never going to walk away. Instead it waits, staring back at you. It's there for the taking.

Who wouldn't want to be in crazy, painful love 24/7? Maybe only those who can't say no. Maybe those who have no choice.

Maybe people like me.

I often wonder if most highly creative people are born knowing what they want to do. Have you always wanted to be a writer, or was it a specific creative interest that evolved over time?

I didn’t want to be a writer. My mom’s a writer and my mother’s father was a writer. I wanted to do something different. But then I became a writer! I feel like I’ve been in a lifelong apprenticeship. I learned a lot about writing from my mother that most people take years and years to learn or may never learn. Writing was literally in my blood. I always say it was a good thing they weren’t plumbers.

Do you have other creative interests, and if so, what are they?

I love music, and I wrote the libretto for an opera. I love art and museums and have now curated three exhibitions. I love beautiful gardens and right now we’re replanting much of ours. Some people might say these things are “off purpose.” I completely disagree.

Opera is about telling a story through the pure emotion of music; I try to tell my stories through the emotions found in words.

An exhibition is about telling a story purely in a visual way; I do that with my writing.

Gardens are about beauty, stillness, and calm; I aim for that in my writing too.

I think it’s true to say that if you’re creative in one area that you’re often creative in many areas. That’s because artists see the world differently.

There is a stereotype that creative people are "different," which can be a positive or a negative at times. What are your thoughts on this?

Is that a stereotype or just true? Artists can be moody and self-absorbed. On the positive side, artists often do see the world differently. In the creative moment, they are exuberant and alive with creativity. They can bring things out – about history, society, politics, love, life -- that have been lurking just under the surface. Artists are also willing to cut to the bone to get to the truth of things. This isn’t easy or fun, which is why more people aren’t artists.

Do you believe being creative has caused you aberrations in life, helped you deal with life's aberrations, or both?

To all three variations of that question, I guess so.

Have you had to deal with people in your life failing to understand your creative drive? If so, can you tell us about it and how you've dealt with it?

I’m very lucky that I grew up in a family of artists. My mother and grandfather on that side of the family were writers. My father’s side of the family had a lot of fine artists and artistic souls. (I think it would have been hard to be in my family if you weren’t artistic in some way.) My husband’s mother is a writer, so he grew up with a writer, which I’ve found to be a very good thing. It’s safe to say that in my family there’s been not just tolerance for artists but a deep understanding of an artist’s moodiness and the joy of creative energy. I realize I’m making artists sound like we’re bi-polar. We aren’t! (I hope we aren’t.)

I often wonder, "Am I truly creative or do I just think I am?" Have you ever wondered about this? In a world filled with creative people and people who think they're creative, how have you been able to distinguish yourself and your talent, despite any doubts along the way?

I wake up with doubts and I go to sleep with doubts. I thought that was part of the definition of an artist.

Unfortunately, many creative people never achieve the success they dream about. How did (or do) you cope with disappointments? What motivated you to keep going, to not give up?

Let’s not kid ourselves. Disappointments are breathtaking in their ability to paralyze us or cause us to question ourselves. I don’t think I cope with disappointments very well at all. I mope. I question. I get depressed and angry. I’m human.

But then, after a while, I remember why I’m doing this. I think the single most important thing for writers and other artists is passion. We have to have passion. That’s what sustains us through what we can euphemistically call those “bumps in the road.” You have to have passion to decide to write a book. You have to have passion to edit a book. You have to have passion to go out on the road and promote it – sometimes for a week or so, sometimes for years. I’m still invited to talk about On Gold Mountain, and that book came out fifteen years ago. So I’d better be passionate about it.

I look at this passion kind of like I look at the difference between marriage and a one-night stand. Are you in it for the long haul – through thick and thin, illness and in health, and all that stuff? Or is this something you’re doing for momentary pleasure so that when the going gets rough, you’re out of there? When you’re in it for the long haul, you’re always motivated.

I often wonder about the similarities and differences creative people have in terms of though processes. How would you describe your creative process? How does your mind work?

Geez, I wish I knew how my mind worked. I have a very active imagination. I don’t dream all that much, and I think that’s because I’m in a kind of dreamlike state all the time. Sometimes my husband will ask me what I’m doing and I’m literally staring at a wall. I’m just traveling somewhere in my mind.

What are the top three characteristics of a highly creative person, in your opinion?

Dreaminess, emotionalism, and obsession.

Many creative people have tons of ideas but never follow through. I'm not sure if it's because they lack drive, organization, or focus. What are your thoughts on this phenomenon?

I don’t know either, but the one thing you didn’t list is FEAR. I bet a lot of what you’re labeling as lack of drive, organization, or focus goes back to fear. The fear of failure. The fear of exposing yourself. The fear of criticism. I’ve had those fears and I think every artist has those fears. It takes a long time to come to a place where you can say that the art—the act of creating—is more important than your own fear.

One CD and a Million Colors: Kathy Ostman-Magnusen

"The dark side embraced can bring a million new colors."

You slip to the dark side,
Across that line.

Makes me feel crazy,
Makes me feel so mean.

John Cafferty & The Beaver Brown Band

I've crossed that line a few times. Those who have seen me there will agree that it wasn't a pretty sight.

Or so we all thought.

My guest today, artist Kathy Ostman-Magnusen, suggests that it may be there that we find a million new colors. This is my philosophy as well. Sure, we're not waiting for the dark side bus with excited sweaty palms and thumping hearts but somehow we occasionally find ourselves riding it.

In my case, I'm usually sitting on the bus alone trying to figure out if I should wait for the next stop or smash my way through the emergency exit. And sometimes I do look for the bus. I watch for it as if it might take me somewhere better even when I know from experience that it only moves in never ending circles.

Over time I've learned that there is value in riding the bus to nowhere. For me, the value is movement. I've decided that it doesn't matter where I am as long as I keep moving. At times when I feel stuck, when I feel like my feet are buried in mud and my heart has gone sluggish, I need that bus to remind me who I am. It always seems to dump me right back where it picked me up but when I emerge everything looks different; sometimes it even looks new.

Maybe those are the colors Kathy talks about.

As a child, Kathy spent hours and days riding in the backseat of her parents car. She watched the life outside whiz past as she wondered where she might land next.

Not knowing where you'll end up can be scary. I often plan and project, write lists and goals, and then constantly adjust it all, always trying to see where I'll be, how far I'll get. As a freshman in college, I mapped out on paper every class I would take over the next four years ... and then I did it again and again and again. It was like a bizarre obsession that gave me pleasure.

People have told me to slow down, don't be so obsessed, figure it out as you go, etc., but it's akin to Kathy's desire to play only one CD over and over for an entire year, or to play a CD and a DVD at the same time. Even if it seems chaotic to some, it works for us. It moves us. That's the beauty of fine-tuned individuality. But sometimes when we embrace it, all the here's-how-you're-suppose-to-do-its in life put us on their radar.

Kathy doesn't seem to care these days.

I'm working on it.

Interestingly, a Facebook friend of mine, Douglas Morton, recently wrote (paraphrased),

"Reality, as I understand it, is an agreement. This action of agreement solidifies the picture of the world around us, making it easier to understand (more secure) but also thicker and more resistant. Therefore, there is a resistance to going against the perceived reality, like the increased resistance encountered when moving through water ... or soup. The resistance created by the thickening makes everything very slow (change takes time).

"I could move quickly despite the resistance but to do so creates ripples, which may highly influence others who simply float through the soup. It would get a lot of attention (and does) whenever I unintentionally move outside the agreement and just do my own thing. This is where I move into very uncertain territory--beyond creating ripples, it appears that it may be possible that someone could step outside the agreement in a way that becomes a catalyst for drastic change. If this happens, it may create something more akin to a shock wave thus having an effect on the soup itself. (Think of people or events who changed the world--overnight.) Moving so quickly could have painful effect on the people near this movement.

"The conundrum is two-fold: Does the possibility of hurting those nearby with an act of radical side stepping the agreement or the fact that the agreement is self healing (and therefore acts to resist or minimize change) negate the value of the action? Is there a point in doing so?"

So what the hell does this have to do with Kathy, buses, and the dark side?

Well, I like Douglas' metaphor for reality. I like the soup thing. I wonder if my tendency to jump on the bus (whether through depression or secretly acting out) has been to avoid messing up the soup. Has the bus cocooned me away from the others just floating through?

Maybe we all need a mechanism that enables us to experience our dark side and find the colors we need. I was raised in an environment that screamed, "Don't you dare cross that line!" I was told what to say and how to say it. What to think and how to think it. My dark side may be much brighter than yours. Who knows?

It's all relative.

As creative spirits and as human beings, I think we should experience all that life has to offer. I'm not sure how we can do that without sometimes making waves. History has shown us that upsetting the soup can be beautiful.

I admire Kathy for what seems a lifelong desire to discover who she is, and experience, appreciate, and express that. If I'd learned the value of that quest at a younger age, I may have saved myself a few rides on the ole' bus.

But now I'm surrounded by a million colors. I have no regrets.

I often wonder if most highly creative people are born knowing what they want to do. Have you always wanted to be an artist, or was it a specific creative interest that evolved over time?

When I was a little girl (from age 2-6 years old), my parents traveled the countryside. They were adventurous people who looked for prospects not found in Minnesota or North Dakota. Maybe their daring was because of the Viking in their Scandinavian heritage. They longed for a sophistication not found in those states back then. They just got in their car, with me in the backseat, and drove. Sometimes they stopped long enough for my dad to do some jobs, go to school, or whatever seemed to be their whim. I sat in the backseat and did what little there was to do. I looked out the window as the world flew by and drew pictures.

My parents remind me of the Fitzgerald's, F. Scott and Zelda, without any parties. Much like Zelda, my mother had a propensity towards that creative edge that sometimes causes havoc with the mind. With that said, if you have ever read anything about the Fitzgerald's, like them, my parents relationship has always been volatile, yet blended with quick wit. Intelligent people discuss "ideas," and with my parents many ideas became quite confrontational. Yet I do indeed love that history of them. It's where I first decided that conversation must be contemplated, actively reviewed, and absorbed with prudence by its consumers. I remember them well as ideas flew with heated words as I drew and drew, and imagined myself inside those pictures. I think it was there that I was gifted with the spirit of creativity and the need to form a soul out of my own missing words--to coax them into another view.

My feeling about creativity is that everyone is creative--they just apply it in different ways. For some it's merely how they set their dinner table or line up their day. Others choose to become more involved with their inner being and convey what stirs inside (motivated by a mood that often feels a certain anticipation for something new to come into existence.) I always say that "talent is desire and the rest is practice." I'm sure that I was born with a "desire" to convey my heartstrings without words and thus ... all my drawing.

Creativity is robbed from children though, and so there must be something else in some individuals that causes them to feed off of the energy that flows through artistic rhythms. I tend to come alive when I create. I can't say that it's always a positive experience though. Sometimes times it's torment and I cannot decide if I love it or hate it. I'm trapped in the bubble of having no where else to turn because art is my soul and who I am. No matter where I run when I'm frustrated by my latest creative project, I'm acutely aware that I've been stung by that spell.

Do you have other creative interests, and if so, what are they?

I write poems, stories, songs, and ideas. I find that the more I write about my art, the better I understand what it is about--where I'm going with it and who I am within its nebulous parameters. Writing causes a floodgate into creativity itself it seems because the more I write, the more visible the crumbs on the trail towards new ideas become.

For 20 years, I owned and operated a pottery studio with 6-8 contracted workers. We specialized in the souvenir market designing products specific to wherever they were going (Disney World, JC Penney, Busch Gardens, most National Parks, and over a thousand mom and pop stores). It was there that I learned discipline towards the arts. While production pottery is a "craft," the day to day responsibility of shipping wares out within a tight time frame set a pace that is still useful.

I've done design work, prep work as well as the actual sandblasting for a company in Kauai for a couple years. I spent a good deal of time doing silk painting and still think of ways of implementing it into other things. Glass etching is the same in many ways when doing design work. I worked for an Italian sculptor as a conceptual drawer, creating what was in "his head" for a complex to be build Baja. Drawing in Italian Baroque was completely outside my ability as it was very architectural and out of my comfort zone. Did you know that drawings can be drawn completely with numbers and math? I never did and never reconciled to that part of his conception either, much to my very expressive Italian sculptors chagrin. I have carried on with some elements that I adapted to though, finding romance in pillars, capitals and sculptural elements found in that era.

I'm the illustrator for Anne Wilson Schaef's "Words of Wisdom for Women Who Do Too Much" Cards. I did them in watercolor and worked with Hayhouse Inc. Publishing to create all 52 cards. The originals were done in watercolor and ink. That was a great gig.

Right now I am back to clay between my fingers, doing sculpture. Clay and pottery being in my background, I know that medium very well. My new series is called "Bleeding Wings." I'm on to number six now. I write about each one in both poetry and thoughts. The series is about the battle of meeting and understanding who we are. No one meets who they are when the lights are turned on in total comfort.

There is a stereotype that creative people are "different," which can be a positive or a negative at times. What are your thoughts on this?

I HOPE to be different. I'm different in both good and bad ways I guess. My senses become overwhelmed easily. If I go gallery hopping I can only see a few; once I am filled and must go home and bask in it.

I always hope that artists will get past the competitive edge that feels abrasive to me. I need them. I need fellow artist to confirm that I am safe within my mind's wandering sometimes. I seek out the inner wonder that is so tenderly under the surface of each artist. No matter the artists perception drawn from their work, be it angry, playful, even poorly executed, there is an inner child I need to meet in them. Being an artist is often just jumping off into an abyss and that is darn scary but exciting at the same time. It takes courage and so it is helpful to relate to others who understand that.

I can be embarrassingly overconfident or pathetically unsure. It all depends on how well my art is going really. It keeps me awake at night because of imperfections or because things are coming together well ... either way I don't sleep.

Do you believe being creative has caused you aberrations in life, helped you deal with life's aberrations, or both?

I chose the other path. Sometimes with regret, I have kicked and screamed inside deploring that path, but it is who I am and there is no protest that will be adhered to in me for that. Ultimately I brake before crossing but I always cross over. The older I get the more I realize that the people I thought I had things in common with, common emotions, were not who I thought. I only imagined them a certain way.

I'm a drama queen. My moods are volatile but I try to keep that part private as much as I can. I met a woman once who had lived in the same house for 30 years. She raised her children there, prepared her husbands lunch for work each day, and watched TV with the sound so low that only she could hear it. If it was too loud her husband would get mad at her and cut off the plug. I say, "No, not me!" to women like that--the ones who say, "These are the rules set before me and so I follow them without question."

Yet because I can be a drama queen I think small issues would have been simpler to deal with if I had been a rule follower. Drama creates a sensation that sometimes evolves into unwelcome reactions, true, but thinking it over in depth as I write this, I don't think its all that bad. I've had a lot of crisis in my life. By a certain age most people have developed a history of some consequence and hopefully have entertaining stories to relate. It is in those times of crisis, no matter how I've handled them, I've realized that after the dust clears, the road leads clear, and there is no line to stand in unless I chose to adhere to those rules. I don't.

Have you had to deal with people in your life failing to understand your creative drive? If so, can you tell us about it and how you've dealt with it?

My husband seems to be the happiest when I'm creating. Being a creative being himself, he thrives when those energies flow. Creativity is contagious and seems to infect any medium it touches, no matter how different the expression. I am fortunate to have that. However, in my life I've had few who understood the complexities of an artist's spirit. I paint or sculpt, write or see things in a different way because I simply have no choice. Past those closest to me, my husband and daughters, I'm not sure it matters to me whether I'm understood or not.

I often wonder, "Am I truly creative or do I just think I am?" Have you ever wondered about this? In a world filled with creative people and people who think they're creative, how have you been able to distinguish yourself and your talent, despite any doubts along the way?

I think everyone is creative. We're all born with it yet from day one it has been continually robbed from us. I like what Picasso said about that: "All children are artists. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up." I try to appreciate something, anything, about anyone's effort to create something new. I think creativity IS GOD. When I look at a sunset or sunrise I have met with God. When I pick a leaf and see that it is unique unto itself, I have met with God. A simple crayon drawing done by a five year old has something to say to us if we listen. I try to see that, embrace that, and in that I know I have the very same opportunities as that five year old to express myself or not. Am I more amazing than another artist? I don't know, I only know I have to opportunity to create and am enriched each time I do so.

Unfortunately, many creative people never achieve the success they dream about. How have you coped with disappointments?

I go back and forth with all of that. Do I need a star on my worksheet from time to time? Of course I do, I'm not different in that respect. I do a lot of self promo online and toot my own horn with the anticipation that I will in fact develop my own fame. Like it or not world, I'm here and I'm singing my own song with the gusto of a mother. I deal with the pitfalls by telling myself that home is actually in the depths of creativity itself and that by sheer volume of my efforts I will only be better for it.

I think the best way to get over disappointment and failure is to prove the critics wrong. The loudest critic is the sound of our own voice echoing back at us and that is best conquered by the continual process of doing even more art.

I often wonder about the similarities and differences creative people have in terms of thought processes. How would you describe your creative process? How does your mind work?

I'm deeply affected by music. I normally pick out what I'm going to listen to for each artistic effort. I play the same CD over and over and over. Sometimes I hit replay on the same song over and over as well. I set that mood and apply it to what I'm working on. I actually listened to Pink Floyd's "Momentary Lapse of Reason" for one full year (nothing else) as I did a sculpture series. I just couldn't get enough of it.

I also turn DVD's on at the same time I have a music CD on. It's total chaos. I only just recently realized why I do it. It's because of the voices. Not in a schizophrenic sense. Thoughts creep up that haunt me and creating chaos is a way of dismissing them. When I paint I'm not really in that zone until I've gotten to the point of a dance. It's in that dance that I hear "them" breathing. "Them" being figures and faces ... as I am a figurative artist.

I almost always ask Matisse to show me the colors when I paint. Matisse said you need to "feel" the colors. I'm a self taught artist so I have come to rely on feelings rather than structure. If whatever I'm working on isn't working, I can't sleep and feel physically ill. It's a lot to go through sometimes. I often exhaust myself emotionally and see only what I'm working on no matter where I am. It takes over everything, and either calms me or stings.

What are the top three characteristics of a highly creative person, in your opinion?

1) I hope for sensitivity in artists and am disappointed when I come across one who seems shallow. I don't mind egotists, only ones who don't warrant notoriety. I think to be a good artist one needs to be a "noticer." In that sensitivity, I believe artists meet on a common ground where words are not necessary to have a meeting of the mind.

2) Obsession. Everything smelled, heard, seen, touched, tasted, and understood becomes an avenue for the dance of questions that can only be answered through art.

3) The ability to step outside of themselves and become someone or something else.

Many creative people have tons of ideas but never follow through. I'm not sure if it's because they lack drive, organization, or focus. What are your thoughts on this phenomenon?

There are a zillion reasons why people don't follow through with things. Artists are no different. We all have dreams that we long to pursue. Some do and some don't. Some don't want to know that they can't; they don't want to try lest they fall. One step in front of the other leads to eventual mastery of anything, but some people never see themselves that way. Many sabotage successes and find a certain pleasure or relief in failure.

The element of laziness is a real factor despite protests that one is waiting for inspiration.

Depression comes easy to the artist in my opinion, so that is an element that can't be ignored either. However, depression can lead to some of the artist's best work if they can muster up the effort to pull themselves out of those moods. The dark side embraced can bring a million new colors. I find my own colors or lack of them in all of these examples. Sometimes I shine and sometimes I can't find one single hint of me at all. I continue to pursue it though. I have no choice in the matter.

To learn more about Kathy and her work, visit her site.

_____________________________

Up Next on Aberration Nation: Lisa See, author of Snow Flower and the Secret Fan and Shanghai Girls.

Who Dat Actor: Eric Gipson

"Life becomes that drill sergeant yelling in your ear, pushing you to do things you never thought possible."

Some of my favorite fictional lines come from Irving Stone's novel about Vincent van Gogh, LUST FOR LIFE:

"Do you call yourself an artist?"
"Yes."
"How absurd. You never sold a painting in your life."
"Is that what being an artist means--selling? I thought it meant one who was always seeking without absolutely finding. I thought it meant the contrary from 'I know it. I have found it.' When I say I am an artist, I mean, 'I am seeking. I am striving. I am in it with all my heart.'"

If you aim to become a doctor, lawyer, nurse, architect, etc., you've got to get the degree. But what about acting, art, writing--all that.

You just have to do it?

Well, as someone who's been honing my writing skills for a couple of decades (not counting my childhood scribblings), like many writers, it bugs me when less dedicated folks so confidently call themselves writers.

While writing my first novel, I didn't tell anyone (except my husband) what I was attempting for several years. I was so serious about becoming a writer that the thought of being lumped in with all the hacks, non-talent, and false-starters out there trying to write books broke my heart. I wanted to be the real thing. I wanted to prove that I would actually finish my book, and that it would be worthwhile.

I was in it with all my heart.

My guest today, actor Eric Gipson, who has appeared in films such as Year One, Beyond a Reasonable Doubt, and Blonde Ambition, brings up this longstanding issue of how we define ourselves as creative individuals.

Are you an actor if you show up at hundreds of auditions but rarely get chosen?

Are you a artist if you've not yet sold a painting?

Are you a writer if you've yet to sign with an A-list publisher?

Are you a musician if you sit in your room endlessly strumming your guitar yet never make it to the stage?

I've thought about this a lot over the years.

It's been extremely difficult for me to say to people, "I'm a writer," or "I'm an artist." I never wanted a single individual to doubt my commitment. It seems that part of the nightmare for one who is truly driven to accomplish something with the creativity they possess is having to start in that dense, crowded, swirling-together pile of everyone who ever thought they might be able to create something extraordinary. I know now that the pile is filled with all kinds of people--highly talented, mediocre, smart, not-so-bright, bored, and drifting. I tried to avoid that pile by keeping my endeavors and dreams to myself. In the end, I still had to start there. In a way, I'm still there, perhaps closer to the edge now, perhaps in transition like Eric.

Lately I often feel like I'm teetering on the edge of a giant precipice. I'm ready to fly but I've yet to get the go-ahead. I've made it to the writing Olympics. A-list editors know who I am; they're reading my work. I'm waiting for the starting boom. I'm seeking. I'm striving. I'm straining to hear it.

Will I ever?

Well, it just so happens that Eric and I are both members of the great Who Dat Nation. If the Saints can win the Super Bowl, I believe we can win, too. We won't give up. We can't. Eric is an actor and I am a writer. To use artist Joyce Dibona's phrasing, we're lifers. That's certainly what Van Gogh was. And sometimes that's what it takes ... a lifetime.

I often wonder if most highly creative people are born knowing what they want to do. Have you always wanted to be an actor or was it a specific creative interest that evolved over time?

Penelope, first, let me express what a pleasure it is to be interviewed by you.

To start, I'd like to clarify that I consider myself an actor although sometimes it’s said that one is not an “actor” in the full sense of the word unless they're making a full-time living at it. I've just about always been involved in some form of acting on top of supporting myself through day jobs.

In the past few years, I have had reasonably good success with opportunities in film because of the industry’s new affinity to Louisiana. I guess you could say that I’m in a somewhat intermediate phase.

Anyway, from the beginning so many have said “That Eric is different—he’s out there!”


Around 5th grade or so, when my class would line up to return from lunch or recess, I would step outside the line and entertain my classmates with all of them as the audience. It was just improv shtick. The true acting bug did not rear its head until the 11th grade when some classmates talked me into auditioning for the Woody Allen role in the Byrd High production of “Play It Again Sam”. While I was in the band and debate team, and did some things that required some outgoingness, I considered having the lead in a play to be a pretty bold move as I was pretty shy (I'm still pretty shy).

I didn't do any theater in college but I dabbled in some nonsense which at the time that I thought was “creative.” I had a basic garage band, The Tempo Tantrums, for a while.

Then I branched out due to a friend who discovered he could pull in this strange grassroots Little Rock radio station by hooking his FM receive to the TV antennae on top of his house. That was my exposure to industrial music, which more about the art of making noise-music. So we got some guys together and started recording improvisational things using real instruments combined with things like farm equipment and me doing stream of conscious ramblings. It was all just silliness and it didn’t require any practice of course. We started sending our tapes up to the Little Rock station. I hooked my FM receiver to my own roof and was able to not only pick up the station, but also hear them air what we recorded a few days earlier!

After graduating and moving to New Orleans, my first job was as the Public Relations Officer for the New Orleans Museum of Art. I soon made some friends who had in improv comedy troupe called Theatre Schmeatre. I joined their group and had a blast, and this rekindled those desires to perform and entertain people. I then got roles in theater productions in New Orleans and later when I moved to Asheville, NC. These were augmented by occasional TV commercial work, some attempts at stand-up that never quite jelled, and some outright silly “performance art” that I did on my own just for grins. For example, in New Orleans, I’d go down to the French Quarter with a guitar case and make my way to Jackson Square where all the cool cats would be singing folk songs and whatever for the tourists to drop money in their instrument cases. I would open my guitar case and instead of it containing a guitar, there’d just be a bunch of celery. I’d stand there just holding the celery bunch and when people came up and inquired, I’d say, “It’s an organic gig.” Some really freaked and thought it was just the most beautiful thing!

I was also able to get in some “performances” during my job at the Museum. For example, my job in public relations was naturally to publicize things like our new exhibitions. We had one called “Making Their Mark: Women Artists Moving Into the Mainstream.” I thought I’d get us some TV publicity throughout the region and booked myself on a southern Mississippi TV station to be interviewed. But I thought there should be a woman’s perspective to the show, so I asked this girl in my improv group, if she’d be on with me posing as an “art critic.” She agreed, we drove to the Mississippi station for the live studio interview, didn’t quite pull it off as smoothly as we wanted, but it was great fun in hindsight.

Do you have other creative interests, and if so, what are they?

I'm blessed that my current situation involves many applications of creativity. As an actor, I enjoy being creative in terms of how I approach a role. Many actors, however, still need our day jobs, and mine is one of the best. As the public relations manager for Sci-Port: Louisiana’s Science Center (named one of America’s 10-Best science centers by Parents Magazine--had to get that plug in). Here’s a bit of what I get to do: TV appearances as a Mad Scientist; radio (right now I host a series of Eco-Tech Minutes on our NPR affiliate); writing copy; and coming up with concepts that are applied to billboards, print and broadcast ads.

I also enjoy seeing what I can find at flea markets and estate sales—mainly books and records.

There is a stereotype that creative people are "different," which can be a positive or a negative at times. What are your thoughts on this?

There are so many variables and a lot of them depend on what your situation is, such as your family, the community you live in, where you work, your friends, etc. All of these factors play a role in determining whether or not your creativity is nourished or discouraged (or worse, even punished). Negatives can also rear their head out of that basic human spite and competitiveness that everyone must face from time to time. Everyone who is creative will encounter the Schadenfreude types on occasion. They used to get under my skin at times but in hindsight, I realize that’s what they were trying to do. Now when I encounter someone who I know would love nothing more than to see me fail, I just think, “Whew, glad I don’t have an adjoining office cubicle or am on a long bus ride with this person!”

I’m a left-handed Sagittarius, born on Friday the 13th and am told that my family comes from Old Souls. I don’t get out of bed in the morning and think, “Well! How can I set myself apart from the pack today?” But here’s one example: I just adore good puns, especially when executed improve on the spot and sometimes I’ll let one fly in reference to something that might occur in a grocery store line or the like—I can’t resist it, and I never know if the people around me will get it and laugh or think I’m just plain bonkers. It’s not to say, “Look at me, I’m funny.” I just enjoy entertaining people, brightening their day, and the real world always provides a real enough stage in itself.

Do you believe being creative has caused you aberrations in life, helped you deal with life's aberrations, or both?

Most definitely both.

I have lost two siblings: one suddenly and tragically and another of natural causes. My family is very creative, sensitive, and (I’ll have to say) just about the nicest people you could ever meet. When bad things happen to good people, it produces all the grief and emotions you can imagine, but it also sometimes creates an undercurrent of “Why go for it (your dreams, goals, fill in your own blank...), when the rug can be pulled out from under you at any second?” But in terms of dealing with such aberrations, I've had roles where I was able to method-act and channel those emotions and thoughts, and it not only helped my performances, it was also very therapeutic.

It’s kind of interesting because most of my roles have been comedic, but it’s not really a contradiction when you consider that song title, “Being Crazy is the Only Thing That Keeps Me Sane.” And my goodness, like the shtick of the classic comedic actors and their situations—more often than not, it’s about everything about to go to hell in a hand basket, a house of cards about to crumble ... and we can identify with the precariousness.

Artistic expression of any form is one of the best ways to get things out whether directly or indirectly, concretely or abstractly. Perspective and a sense of humor aren’t bad to have, either.

As for another aberration, I'm often at battle with myself about keeping calm, especially when it comes to public appearances and giving speeches. The worst is when I get a film role and walk out onto the set for the first filming. I don’t take anything for that. I just generally pray that it’s not too early in the morning so I can get in a jog and be reasonably relaxed--given my hyper nature. And of course, watch the caffeine. If you have the chance, find “Don Knots Nervous Speech” from “The Ghost and Mr. Chicken” on YouTube—you’ll get the picture!



Have you had to deal with people in your life failing to understand your creative drive? If so, can you tell us about it and how you've dealt with it?

I never thought I was a misunderstood genius, tortured artist, or anything like that. My parents were older than most kid's my age, and while they were not strict in the “Do your homework NOW!” sense, they were very overprotective. My dad (who passed away in ’95) allowed me to do one theater production in the 11th grade, but forbade me getting a role in the senior year show because he thought it would negatively impact my grades. Fast-forward many years later -- my mom loves it when I call to tell her I’ve received a performance payment or residual check from the Screen Actors Guild. (“Oh boy! The roof needs some repairs! I just got a huge water bill!”).

When we lived in Asheville, NC, my ex-wife (but still a great friend) thought it was such a waste of time and money for me to pay to have a demo tape made and drive down to Atlanta to cart it around to talent agencies. She really never held me back from doing theater productions, however, and I realize it was more about our finances at the time.

I often wonder, "Am I truly creative or do I just think I am?" Have you ever wondered about this? In a world filled with creative people and people who think they're creative, how were you able to distinguish yourself and your talent despite any doubts along the way?

I think some artists, especially when starting out on a venture, might wonder if they’re being too derivative of something or somebody. But influences and inspirations are crucial and are often the propelling element for anyone to decide to become an artist or performer of any sort. Outside reinforcement is also necessary, at least every now and then. If not in huge rewarding ways, at least in just a few points that keep one going in the struggle along the way. Like that smiling look the Vice President gives to the exhausted and nearly beaten Jimmy Stewart in “Mr. Smith Goes to Washington” that enables him to continue his record-setting filibuster.

Unfortunately, many creative people never achieve the success they dream about. How have you coped with disappointments?

There are the times when you think you’ve done a slam-dunk audition, when everything was just right. The role was tailor-made for you—and you did everything “right” that day by being prepared, exercising a bit in the morning to curb anxiety and avoid wobbly-knees in front of the casting people. You leave the audition room feeling great, but then tell yourself NOT to wait for the phone to ring with a message from your agent (I usually found that it does ring when I least expect it and have forgotten about the audition). Sometimes you might get three call-backs. The role is down to you and another person. Then you find out, through silence, that you didn’t get the role—but wait! Who hoo! The phone rings!

“Oh…no…thank you, sir but I just can’t participate in your brief survey now.”

I often wonder about the similarities and differences creative people have in terms of thought processes. How would you describe your creative process? How does your mind work?

Like many, I sometimes worry that I think too much and that my thinking gets in the way of action and the old-fashioned unbeatable good night’s sleep. But there’s just something magical that happens when a creative rut is rectified by that rush of creativity that comes on like a sudden thunderstorm. It just comes, and sometimes I wonder from where!

The older I get, the more I see that things are cyclic. Maybe every once in a blue moon, I’ll think everything is perfect and in place, but that’s rare. As adults in the real world, it seems many of us always have to have something stressful going on to fret about. When that “crisis” is over, it’s replaced by something else. I’ll find that the job is going great, but my daughter has strep or I might develop some health scare that makes me paranoid; or I’ll be feeling just top of the world, and then I find out about budget cuts; or things are kind of mediocre/ok and I’ll develop and sort of peaceful Zen-like acceptance combined with thankfulness for all I have…but then I find out the bank account is in the negative.

I recently heard that life is like flying an airplane—it’s a constant adjustment for error. The wind currents and other factors are constantly trying to knock that plane from its course, and so it has stabilizers and rudders.

That magical rush of creativity can come amidst the most violent thunderstorms. The irony is ... as stressful as crises are, it’s then when we often feel most alive. Life becomes that drill sergeant yelling in your ear, pushing you to do things you never thought possible. Believe me, I don’t thrive on crises, but it’s just something I’ve noted about myself and others.

What are the top three characteristics of a highly creative person, in your opinion?

1. Considers just about everything in multi-dimensional terms.

2. Has high emotional intelligence and is very intuitive

3. Probably has demons, doubts, fears and regrets of one form or the other, but also dreams and hopes and wonderfully sublime moments; and knows that there are moments of joy that weigh against a whole lifetime.

Many creative people have tons of ideas but never follow through. I'm not sure if it's because they lack drive, organization, or focus. What are your thoughts on this phenomenon?

That adage "one percent inspiration and 99% perspiration" has some meaning, but I’d certainly divide it more. When one is creative, it would just be great if the world was perfect and the inspiration just somehow manifests itself into action. But we all to some extent have to then become, ugh, business people, by #1, getting to work and then #2, having a plan on what to do with the work once it’s completed. I’ve found that having a deadline helps to spur creativity. In my day job, I often have to come up with ideas for advertising campaigns that are then manifested in billboards, magazine and newspaper ads, marketing materials and often the broadcast media. I like to think under pressure—and like crises, I don’t like to be under pressure all the time—but there’s also a good kind of pressure that can jump-start the brain.