Minya: A Creative Lifestyle

"Creativity is a lifestyle. I think that at some point in life one has to decide if he or she wants to follow their creativity and search for alternative ways, or to accept solutions and decisions that have already been established."

Einstein said, "The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and all science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead, his eyes are closed." 

This is particularly comforting to me today.  I've been sitting here worrying about the fact that I'm still a mystery to myself after 45 years.  I won't share the details but I've recently been reminded (once again) that despite all my education and achievements, I have the spirit of a child.  She dominates when she should be off frolicking in some back corner of my mind, picking imaginary, sun-drenched daisies while she hums a happy tune. 

At times, I'm confident that the little girl who won't go away is responsible for my ability to create interesting artwork, think outside the box, break rules (most of the time in positive ways now), get blissfully lost in my imagination, and in conjunction with my mature brain, make connections others do not.  I love that aspect of her resistance to stand back.  I just wish the world were structured in a way that would enable the two of us to be more comfortable.  I wish we could have our cake and eat it, too.  Most of the time, she's eating the cake and I'm starving. 

My guest today, artist Minya, notes that all children are in some way artists. At an early stage, the vast majority of us danced, sang, colored, banged on pots and pans, and pretended to be all kinds of things.  I made salads out of plants; played house for hours; colored a thousand pictures with crayons and magic markers; pretended I was chewing gun when I couldn't sleep; and made a mansion for my paper dolls out of flattened boxes ... among other things.  As Minya says, all children explore their imagination, but sometimes I think I went overboard out of necessity.  For some of us, especially those wired to be highly imaginative, pretending offers a unique brand of solace in the midst of dysfunctional situations.

I didn't fully emerge from my early flight of fancy until I was about twelve.  When I finally peered into reality, I didn't cope very well.  As a child, there was a part of me who was sucking life in, processing, and analyzing.  That girl filed a tremendous amount of information away with the idea that she might deal with it later.

Hello!

Now I realize why the kid is so strong and the other so often weak. I realize why I'm still more comfortable in the role of the playful, imaginative girl whose willing to notice and take in what swirls around her, but prefers to shove it to the side, sending it to the auto processing file rather than deal with it. 

My goal is to keep aiming to balance myself while embracing the creativity that still fuels my spirit.  Several years ago, after fighting it, I decided to choose creativity as a lifestyle.  It suits me best and feels right.  I'm still transitioning in many ways.  I'm evolving just as I did when I chose as a young adult to put limits on my creativity, to squelch it so that I could live the type of life everyone expected of me.  Doing so had its rewards, but finally I realized there is no true choice, only a battle.  We are who we are, and it's best to accept the wiring we were allotted on production day.  

Minya tells us that her paintings symbolically illustrate the journey mankind has made – from prehistory and cave painting, to modern technologies and ways of communication used today (computers, TV, phones).  Her work metaphorically comments on actual events and contemporary life.  Maybe at a philosophical level, Minya's work somehow expresses how I've evolved from the day I decided to lump disproportionate paper dolls made by different toy companies together (because that's how real people are, thought the little girl), and play out their lives on a 6' x 6' detailed cardboard blueprint of the home I wanted to have.


The week I spent making the paper doll house was like any other.  I could have chosen to play outside.  I could have watched television all week.  I could have done anything but I didn't.  I had an idea, a concept, and was driven to create something that was unique and unavailable to me by any other means.  I didn't care that nobody wanted to do it with me.  I was willing to do the work, and I made it a reality.

But as Minya points out, it's important to understand that the work is never completely finished.  I see that now; I won't stop again.   
    

Have you always know you would be an artist? How has your artistic life evolved?

I believe that all children in their early stages when they start communicating with their environment, are in some way artists! They express their deepest and most sincere emotions in a straightforward way: by dancing, singing or drawing. Some of them continue to analyze their feelings and environment throughout their life by expressing themselves in some form of art. I am one of those! My artistic expression has changed and evolved during my growing up: my artistic research became more complex and articulated following my interests, and so did the materials and techniques I’m using.

How would you best describe your personality, and how your art relays that to the world.

I am, by nature, a person who notices and carefully studies their surroundings. I define my artistic expression methodically and with a lot of attention. My works represent, in a metaphorical sense, commentaries on actual events and contemporary life.

With regard to your current creative focus, was there an "ah-ha" moment you can tell us about?

Those “moments” do occur, they come periodically.  They represent turning points in my creative phases. They happen occasionally but do not come out of the blue! They are the result of a continuing work.  It has happened several times that, while working on one series of works, when I’m most satisfied and inspired, that “moment” strikes and suddenly a rather different painting comes out! That moment I recognize as a turning point, the beginning of a new series. That somehow happens naturally and easily and I know exactly what I need to do next, as if there is some kind of recipe I have to follow.

You do quite a bit of work on Plexiglas. Can you tell us a little bit about how you came to appreciate this medium and what draws you to it?

Plexiglas is a material that in a way imposed itself to me in past few years, as it is a perfect medium for expressing my artistic thoughts. It is, as a material, in contrast with the natural pigments I use for painting. With this contrasting effect I want to point out a very interesting fact: during history people always wanted to catch the moment they live in, to register what is happening around them at that instant. They wanted to record it and to send a message to the following generations. Through my paintings I symbolically illustrate the journey mankind has made – from prehistory and cave painting, to modern technologies and ways of communication used today (computers, TV, phones). In my paintings that is depicted with natural pigments on the smooth surface of Plexiglas.

I also like the transparent nature of the material. I apply pigments on both sides of Plexiglas but at the same time I take great care of areas that will remain transparent. When finished, my works are mounted on the wall with the distance of few inches from it, hence creating shadows behind painted parts that can be seen through transparent ones. This, as a result, creates the impression of visual depth and third dimension

Do you believe some of the various attributes related to being highly creative have caused you aberrations (issues) in life, helped you deal with life's aberrations, or both?

Creativity is a lifestyle. I think that at some point in life one has to decide if he or she wants to follow their creativity and search for alternative ways, or to accept solutions and decisions that have already been established. Naturally, rules and codes of conduct exist in every society, but it is for each individual to decide how they will relate to them. That is one of the aspects I like to explore in my works. With straight lines and arranged square forms I want to suggest those rules, control and regulations. On the other hand, free hand movements and paint drippings suggest the “human factor”: creativity, surprise factor, unpredictability, improvisation. I personally have chosen improvisation and creativity as my contribution to the society I live in.

In what ways does art sooth or inspire you during difficult or challenging times?

During the creative procedure, the artist is exempt from all boring, trifling, everyday rules and procedures that make life complicated. They are free to express themselves and act free of any social and bureaucratic constrains. The artist is completely alone, with their tool to create anything they want – that feeling is elating and makes you feel limitless.

Have you ever had to deal with people in your life failing to understand your creative personality, interests, or drive? If so, can you tell us about it and how you've dealt with it?

I was blessed to grow up in a family of artists, both of my parents are painters. I was surrounded by people who understand and appreciate art ever since I can remember. That experience prepared me and gave me ability to search and find an appropriate interlocutor through my life.

Have you developed a specific creative process that enables you to meet your artistic goals? If so, can you tell us about it. Where do most of your ideas come from?

For me, every new painting I create represents an individual research. It is primarily with relation to the technique, but also regarding the artistic concept. New discoveries, experiments but also new casual effects, contribute that one idea evolves through its transformation. My ideas breed slowly and before I present them to the general public they have to go through a complex process of maturation.

What do you believe places an artist apart from his or her peers? So many are highly talented, but what makes one stand out as truly gifted?

What distinguishes one artist from another, and sets them apart is their ability to present their artistic idea. It is important that an effort of research and study of a certain phenomenon is shown. Experimentation and research of new and original ways of expression, new materials and modern technologies are also essential. More interesting, intelligent and courageous those ideas are - more brilliant and extraordinary is the artist himself.

What is your primary motto or mantra in life? Why is this important to you?

I think it is essential that one never considers their work completely finished.

New Art: The Faceless Woman

The Faceless Woman

4' x 6' Acrylic on Canvas

Detail Pics:

Wrestling With Demons

Untitled Work in Progress (detail)

4 x 6 feet

Acrylic on Canvas

"An artist is a creature driven by demons."

-William Faulkner

Aberration Nation began focusing on aberrations, those crappy situations life throws at us, or that we create for ourselves.  One of the reasons I started the blog was my hope that reading about the difficulties other folks have overcome would show my mother that she is not alone.  I thought it could give her a weekly shot of inspiration.  Sadly, my mother never reads this blog. 

 

Over the last few weeks I've been thinking a lot about my own aberrations.  Perhaps working on my current painting, a 4 x 6 foot piece that features a faceless woman surrounded by a band of colorful, bizarre demons has influenced me.  I've also been having some issues with my mother, whom I've frequently written about.  Meanwhile, I learned that my brother (age 46) will soon have open heart surgery at the Mayo Clinic to correct a rare life-threatening heart defect. 

Needless to say, I spoke with my brother this week about his own issues and about our mother.  She is older now, and wants and needs support from us, including financial. She believes this is something we owe her.  Of course, it's a long story with multiple complexities that I can't explain in a blog post.  My brother and I seemed to hold hands in spirit as we talked on the phone, shaking our heads, trying to understand how we can possibly help the woman who has caused us so much pain, and who continues to bite the hands that would feed her.

I also learned over the last couple of weeks that a childhood friend of mine has a court order against her for spanking her child.  With this looming in my head, my brother mentioned an incident that triggered a surprisingly strong emotional reaction on my part. He reminded me how his ex-wife banned our mother from their home after she "spanked" their then 3-year-old son thirteen years ago. 

My brother described the incident like this:

"Well, it was bad enough that three days later he still had red slash marks from his heels to his neck.  She basically did to him what she used to do to us.  Make us go get a switch from the yard and then proceed to beat the living hell out of us with it."

Just as I was processing his words, he told me he had friends over; he had to go and we would talk more later.

I was left with the sick realization that I'd been beaten rather than spanked. I thought about the time I was playing outside and she came out of the house like a bat out of hell calling my name.  I was terrified.  Being about eleven years old, I realized I had the power to attempt escape.  So I ran, which was uncharacteristic of me.  I ran and ran and ran, and she chased me.  All the neighborhood kids stood by watching the excitement.  I finally circled back around towards our house, ran in, and locked myself in the bathroom.  I remember cowering there crying, knowing that I would have to come out and that she would give me one of those horribly painful whippings.

And she did.

I don't remember how many times it happened or what I did to deserve them.  It was certainly more than I can count on the fingers and toes they verified for her when I was born.  The last time it happened, I was fifteen.  I told my parents that I was driving to the local convenience store, but I actually went to a party in the neighborhood that I'd been told to stay away from.  I had a plan to go for 15 minutes.  After about 14 minutes, my mother was at the door in her nightgown, curlers in her hair, no makeup, crazed look in her eye.  She pushed through the crowd, grabbed me in a highly dramatic display of anger, and dragged me out while everyone laughed.  Some mean guys snickered and made inappropriate sexual comments about me just to fuel my mother's anger.  It broke my heart.  When we got home, she took my father's belt to me.  She held my arm in an attempt to keep me there, but I eventually broke loose and grabbed the belt.  I looked her in the eye and said, "If you hit me one more time, I will hit you back." 

After talking to my brother, I got on the Internet to research the definition of physical child abuse.  I also asked my husband and 22-year-old daughter if they thought spanking a child hard enough to create painful red welts and bruising with an object while enraged is abuse. They both looked at me with the compassion one has for a wounded child and said, "Of course it is."

I've known that I was emotionally abused as a child and what that did to me, but I've always tried to forgive my mother.  After all, she has documented mental illnesses.  I've always felt deeply sorry for her, and have tried to help her in the ways that I knew how.

The realization that she truly beat the hell out of me and my brother is sobering.  Lately she pleads with us, especially me, to help her.  She views herself as a victim.  According to her, all her friends think I'm a terrible daughter because I don't help my wonderful mother enough. How much is enough?  In my adult life she has "cut me off" numerous times.  She has said horrific things about me and my family including that my children would be better off dead than to have me for a parent.  She constantly tells me that there is something wrong with me.  It goes on and on.

When does the nightmare end? 

As she grows older and cannot fend for herself, is it I who must rescue her?  I'm a forgiving person; I've proven that again and again.  As I've painted this picture over the last couple of weeks, I've felt the demons of the past emerging once again.  Their faces express the emotion I've never been able to relay.  My face is blank because if I took them all into me and expressed their pain, horror, disbelief, sadness, and fury, I could not function.  But unlike my mother, I've never seen myself as a victim.  My goal was and is survival, pulling myself up and out.  Forging on, clinging to the belief that there is a purpose for my life.

And so I write and create art.  And if this faceless woman must see her elderly mother lying in the gutter with no help, yes, there will be more demons to bring along into my own twilight years.  I'm trying to be okay with that; after all, I'm used to having them around.  When I was a little girl jumping at the slashes of that vicious switch; having demons called out of me; being told that God said my father would die so that my mother could marry another; and hearing again and again that I was somehow defective and self-centered, my face grew blank as I told myself that someday I would be free.  Someday I would take it all and use it to create something beautiful and truthful, something that would show that I am not as blank as I appear. I am not selfish.  I am not filled with dirty, vile demons.  Like you, I am worthy of love.

In the process, I have come to love the faceless woman and her demon pack.  If anything, they are interesting. 

My Demons: Work in Progress

"An artist is a creature driven by demons."      
                                                                                    -William Faulkner

The following are detail shots of the 4 x 6 foot piece that I'm currently working on.