A Girl Called Empty




A Girl Called Empty, Page 1
Once upon a time in the deep tangled woods of Despair,
a clean slate of a child was born to a silent father and a
sorrowful mother with good intentions and phenomenal beauty.

A Girl Called Empty is a modern day fairytale written by author and artist, Penelope Przekop.  Penelope recently began a year-long project to illustrate (acrylic & pastel on canvas) the dark tale fueled by resilience and hope. Via dual avenues of communication, the work will illuminate the plight of children raised by a mentally ill parent, and how it impacts their ongoing development as well as their adult lives.

A Girl Called Empty is also a story that depicts the healing power of art. Before we can speak or write, we recognize colors, and have the ability to form shapes and lines that express our inner selves, and how we uniquely experience our environment.

Art can provide a direct link to our most basic level of identity.



“I found I could say things with colors that I couldn’t say in any other way – things that I had no words for.”



– Georgia O’Keefe



To help bring increased awareness to the emotional and social impact of being raised by a mentally troubled parent, Penelope will paint ~ 35 original works of art that visually support and add dimension to the story of A Girl Called Empty. She will explore how best to use the work to accomplish this higher goal as the project progresses.

Penelope is excited about tackling a project that combines both her love of writing and painting. She aims to use her personal experience and talent to not only express herself, but to also create something remarkable that will benefit others. Per Penelope, "At times, I feel incredibly self-centered focusing on my own issues. I don't want to keep spitting them out in books or on canvas just so I can stare at them, or ask people to look at them, and understand or validate me. I want to use them to do something positive for the world around me; that's the real purpose to be found in my creativity."



Fingerprints are visual, biological proof that each person has a unique identity. Penelope's goal is to work with individuals (children, teens, and adults) either currently being raised, or who were raised, by a mentally ill parent who will provide fingerprints to be incorporated into the art work, and/or resulting book.

Imbedding these individuals' unique prints into the art/book will drive home their inherent struggle to establish a solid sense of identity beyond the troubled parent.  It will also support the importance of recognizing that children of the mentally ill are often lost in the shadows of the constant stress and confusion swirling around them as they develop emotionally and seek to understand their world.

About Penelope:



Penelope Przekop is a published author and a professional artist represented by Monkdogz Urban Art (New York City). Her art has been shown in New York City, California, Philadelphia, and Europe. Her art work has been acquired by the Caserta (Italy) Museum of Art. She has written four novels and one business book published by McGraw-Hill. Penelope has a B.S. degree in Biology from Louisiana State University and an M.S. degree in Quality Systems / Assurance from the Southern Polytechnic State University Department of Engineering. She is a former Director of Global Quality Management at Johnson & Johnson, and is currently Senior Director, Global Quality Assurance & Training for Theradex Systems, Inc. She lives near Philadelphia with her husband and two daughters.



Penelope's mother has struggled with severe depression, borderline personality disorder, and other emotional issues throughout her life. She has been hospitalized multiple times for mental illness and has been reliant on medication for over forty years. When Penelope was a child and teenager, not one adult stopped to consider that she may need support despite the sunny smile she consistently tossed around; she was lost in the shadow of her suffering mother. At ten years old, Penelope created a motto for herself: "Alone, at least I have myself."  She attempted suicide at 19 by overdosing on her mother’s medication, and spent three days in an intensive care unit. At 25, she began writing her first novel, Boundaries, which is based on her own struggle to understand and accept her individuality and self-worth as a child and teenager.



The Girl Called Empty project is sponsored by Monkdogz Urban Art (NYC).

You can watch this project progress on Facebook and Penelope's art site. If you're not yet Penelope's friend on Facebook, please feel free to send her a request.

Gifted and Hot: Tim Harakal

" ... I cure most of the unavoidable bummers in life with creativity."

It's interesting how connections are made.  A few months ago, my husband and I went to the Sands Casino in Bethlehem, PA.  While my husband was playing craps, I wandered off to the Fusion Lounge.  (I chose it because it was orange.)  As I sat at the bar, sipping my martini (also orange), I noticed that the bartender and another nearby customer were chatting about their weekend plans. It turned out that the customer was the father of the young bartender.

By the time I was downing my second martini, we were all chatting. 

I soon learned that the young bartender is an artist named Justin Klement.  He told me about his work, and handed me a CD for which he designed the artwork.  The CD is packed with fantastic original music by his good friend, Tim Harakal.   

According to Tim's site, his self-taught hands are at one with the guitar strings; they have become an extension of his heart, soul, and spirit. Influenced by his favorite band, Metallica, his music has morphed into an acoustic art form with a pop-rock edge.

I liked Tim's music so much that I just had to have him on Aberration Nation. (I also hope to have his talented buddy, Justin, on soon.)

Tim tells us below that his most recent 'ah-ha' moment was turning 25 this summer, and realizing he'd better get cooking.  From what I've seen, he's hot already.  I told him to imagine turning 45.  That's more of an 'oh-crap' moment.  Twenty-five seems awfully young, but I understand Tim's sense of urgency, and suspect it will follow him throughout his career.  It's a critical piece needed for success in any creative field.

I felt the same way when I was 25, and still do. At that age, I had a three-year-old daughter and one degree.  I had just married and relocated from Louisiana to Northern New Jersey. I was happy about all that but was terribly homesick.  That's the year I began writing my first novel. I was sure I'd already wasted quite a few years, gotten the wrong degree, etc. I had to get moving!

Every creative has a unique journey that (hopefully) continues until we expel our last beautiful breath. Mine has been a bit twisted and convoluted, similar to the diagram below. I suspect that after twenty years I'm still somewhere in the middle of that tangled mess, but I'm definitely light years ahead of where I started.

There are certainly numerous ways to measure success.  For me, the beauty of being creative is that, as Tim points out, it can cure the unavoidable bummers in life.  We can overcome all those unexpected dips and detours, and crappy things that jump out at us simply by recognizing that it's all part of the sometimes gut wrenching truth that defines being human. And we can funnel that brutal honesty into our work to create phenomenal, lasting art.   

So here I sit at 45 writing a blog article about a hot, young 25 year old musician.  Am I supposed to hang my slightly wrinkled head, wring my vein-popping hands, and feel elderly. No, because my journey continues, and it's one of value.  I spent years writing novels, then began to paint in 2008, and subsequently spent the last year and a half focusing on my art. Within the last two weeks I've come full circle to hit upon a creative idea that combines my love of writing with art. It feels like a new beginning. 

I feel 25 again. (And today at work someone told me they thought I was 35. That was icing on the cake!) 

I believe my life has a creative purpose.  I don't care if it takes 25 more years, I will continue to move forward even if I have to go in a few convoluted circles to do so.  I have high hopes that Tim will have a fairly straight path to the top, but come what may, I hope he'll always remember the diagram above.  I hope he will never forsake his wiring, and that he will keep moving despite all obstacles.  During those detours and snags, we have to remind ourselves of the power our creative spirit's offer. 

We hold a genuine cure in the palm of our hands that many people lack.  That's why creativity is called a gift.

What's your story (in a nutshell)? Have you always loved music?

Music has always been a part of my life. My parents listened to folk music and my dad played guitar, so I was exposed at a young age to a lyrically driven guitar based genre. Then, somewhere in the natural progression of things I developed an unnatural attraction to heavy metal that lead to the whole “I need to be a rock star” thing. I picked up the guitar at 16 and aside from some basics my father offered, I taught myself to play.

The singing didn’t happen until my senior year in high school. Who would have thought a metal head would have sang “I Wanna Be There” by Blessid Union of Souls for the talent show? I will never forget being half way through the song, mustering up the courage to open my eyes and seeing an auditorium lit with open cell phones (lighters were prohibited). Hook, line, and sinker ... look at me now.


With regard to your current creative focus, was there an "ah-ha" moment you can tell us about?

Yes…on August 1st I turned 25 and realized that I have to get things moving.

For you, is music more about creation or expression? It could be both, but does one dominate with regard to your need/urge/desire to be a singer/songwriter?

To me music is more about expression. How you perform the piece is what gives music life and allows it to do work. So, as a singer/songwriter, I feel most accomplished when I perform my music.

How would you describe your musical style, and why does this appeal most to you creatively?

I think my music has many personalities and therefore many styles. The songs are all so different. I have jazzy songs, funky songs, folk songs, pop songs, and I even have a song that is hip-hop inspired. So, I’m not sure how to describe the style … acoustic American maybe. Music as a creative outlet works for me because I’m a quiet guy who doesn’t read too much.  So I’m not all that great at writing or spelling. Music allows me to communicate and not have to worry about grammatical or spelling errors.

Do you believe some of the various attributes related to being highly creative have caused you aberrations in life, helped you deal with life's aberrations, or both? 

The attributes have affected me in both ways. I often find myself sacrificing for the creative process. On the flip side, I cure most of the unavoidable bummers in life with creativity. In the end, it’s all positive. Being creative is a good thing.

Have you had to deal with people in your life failing to understand your creative personality, interests, or drive? If so, can you tell us about it and how you've dealt with it?

My creativity is misunderstood all the time. Sometimes I don’t understand my own creativity, but who really wants to understand everything? For example, magic would suck if we understood it. I guess what I’m saying is I accept and appreciate being misunderstood.

Unfortunately, many creative people never achieve the success they dream about. You're just getting started. Have any of your dreams come to pass yet? What do you dream of achieving now?

My dream is that music will allow me to live a comfortable life. I’m not quite there yet, but I know it's coming.

Do you ever wonder if what you're creating or expressing is as meaningful to others as it is to you? How important is that to you with regard to your overall goals? If you've created something that purely expresses who you are, is that enough, or is the circle only completed when someone else says, "Yes, she understands me" or "Yes, that's how I feel"?

Writing and performance is just a way of expressing myself. I don’t give too much thought as to how it affects other people…although I do try to keep the songs positive…and applause is kind of nice.

Is there a difference between being creative and being talented? What are your thoughts on this?

I think you are born with the capacity to be creative and you can learn to be talented.

What is your primary motto or mantra in life? Why is this important to you?

Every little thing is going to be all right.

Penn Jillette: Magic Hole Puncher

"I don't have any powers others don't have; I just have a different job."

Yesterday afternoon, I rode the train into Manhattan to spend a few hours at Monkdogz Urban Art, the gallery that represents my art.  In my arms I carried a roll of my recent paintings, all on unstretched canvas secured by two large rubber bands.  The plan was to share some of my new work with gallery owners, Bob Hogge and Marina Hadley.

The good news is: they liked it; they handed me a drink, gave me a cookie, and didn't fire me.

The bad news is: I left New York with a profound empty twist in my gut. It was wrapped around the gnawing truth that, in the end, no one can provide validation.  Sprinkled on top was the disgusting realization that I've known this for years, yet I can't shake my addictive pursuit.  External approval of all the creative things I work so hard to achieve will never fill the holes punched in my psyche.  I realized that if the overwhelming need to paint has become my main source of therapy, then I must paint a deeper truth. My friend, artist, Jean Marc Calvet wrote to me about this today.  He said, "Go inside the hole (don't be afraid) and you will find what you lost," and I know he's right. Otherwise it all becomes a meaningless, time filling duty, a job no one wants.

In looking at the work with Bob and Marina, I was jittery and uncomfortable.  I'd brought a few pieces that hold less meaning for me, and as we gazed at them, they wilted and grew lifeless.  On the other hand, the ones that have profound significance left me feeling exposed, as if we were all staring at my naked body in the worst sort of light. Those were the monstrous ones, and as I looked at them, I saw myself, a living, breathing freak, simultaneously full and empty.  But I knew there was much more where that came from; it wasn't enough.

If I can't put myself fully on the canvas than there's no point for me in art. Finding a way into the hole is why I'm driven to paint.  I need to take a deep breath and get on with it. I'm not sure why yet or who gave it to me, but that's my real job, my life's work.

With that in mind, I went home, spread my fingers through the paint, and literally felt my way into the start of a new painting.  It's messy, juvenile, and ugly but it looks like what I am, and I'm determined to push forward in that direction.

My guest today, Penn Jillette, of the famed Penn & Teller, says he has no creative powers that others lack; he just has a different job. Speaking of powers, Penn has written a book that seems to effortlessly punch holes in religion. He escorts us into that space many refuse to acknowledge or explore. My mother would likely burn this book based on the title alone: God, No!: Signs You May Already Be an Atheist and Other Magical Tales.   In the book, Penn takes readers on a roller coaster of exploration and flips conventional religious wisdom on its ear to reveal that doubt, skepticism, and wonder -- all signs of a general feeling of disbelief -- are to be celebrated and cherished, rather than suppressed.

I have no magic either nor do I fully understand where creative ability or drive comes from, who gives it to us, or how we can be rid of it once blossomed.  I'd love to believe that God gifted me with the same special packet Picasso, Pollock, and Kandinsky received on their way to Earth. Maybe he did and maybe he didn't. 

The point is: we're all made of the same basic biological building blocks. Those complex blocks usually get dragged through some level and form of crap as we make our way.  As the dark, stinking mess we're struck with races up our noses, splashes into our eyes, and seeps between our teeth, we reach into our packet and yank out whatever seems as if it can save us. Even if I did get Picasso's packet, a million other people may also be toting around the same bag of tricks. 

Who's fully utilizing it and what does it all mean?  Whose job is it to find out?  I'd love to sit down to dinner with Penn and discuss this at some point. 

Maybe someday it will happen.  After all, I do believe in magic.  I'm a freak.

What's your story? How did you end up in the comedy / entertainment field, and are you surprised by your success?

I'm from Greenfield, a small factory town in Western Massachusetts. I learned to juggle when I was 12 and got good. I met Teller while I was still in high school and "got out" (not really graduated) of high school on a plea bargain. I wanted to be a great existential writer and live in Paris, but I went to Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Clown College instead. I hitchhiked around the country and hopped trains, did a lot of street performing, and put a show together with Teller. I gave up on Paris but not on being an existential writer. I'm more successful than I ever dreamed I could be. The first person I met in showbiz was me. I didn't know this was possible for anyone, never mind me.

You've have an interesting, successful career that seems to be going well. What made you decide to write a God, No!: Signs You May Already Be an Atheist and Other Magical Tales?

Glenn Beck challenged me to write about atheist morality. I got carried away.

With regard to the book, was there an "ah-ha" moment you can tell us about?

Yeah, when I realized that proselytizing really was very good thing - the backbone of the marketplace of ideas.

Each novel I write seems to change my life or create a shift in my thinking or perception in some way. Did writing the book change or impact your life in any way that perhaps goes beyond other creative work that you do?

Yes, I've talked to a lot of religious people because of this book and the more I talk with them, the more I like them. I respect and love people, even when I don't like their ideas.

In general, how does creativity factor into comedy writing? Where do you get most of your ideas?

I rarely write jokes. I never wanted to be in comedy. It just seems when I tell the truth, I like to tell it funny. But, I don't ever like to do any joke that isn't true to me.

Do you believe some of the various attributes related to being creative have caused you aberrations (issues) in life, helped you deal with life's aberrations, or both? How so?

I don't think "creativity" is anything "magic" or even special. I think we're all just doing our best. I don't have any powers others don't have; I just have a different job.

Have you ever had to deal with people in your life failing to understand some of the personality traits, interests, or drive that go along with being creative? If so, can you tell us about it and how you've dealt with it?

It's kind of the same answer. The people who don't understand when I get jacked up and rant and pull focus . . . are right -- that's just a lack of self control on my part. It's sometimes hard for my family to understand that I need to sit and think to do my job. But, that's hard for me to understand, too. It might be a lazy lie.

Have you developed a specific process that enables you to meet your professional goals? If so, can you tell us about it, and also share any thoughts you may have on the role of discipline and organization?

I do the opposite of procrastination, to a fault. I leave my "in box" empty. I do everything when I'm asked to do it. As soon as I can. This request came in and I wrote it. I didn't wait until I had time to do it. I try to be early on everything. I fail now and again, but I try to just do it.

"You've got to do it, till your through it, so you better get to it" - Elvis Costello.

Were there specific challenges to writing the book that you can share with us?

See above, all of my challenges are time. I have so much more that I want to do than I can do. I don't ever get to sit down and write a book. All of my books have been written in stolen moments. When I have 15 minutes -- I write. I can't warm up and put it off. It's all done in the spaces, and I love it that way, but I sometimes think of what it would be like to have a 10 hour writing day. It seems great, but maybe I couldn't work that way.

Will there be more Penn Jillette books?

Yes, whether published or not, I'm always writing. I love it. My sister always said that she saw me first as a writer, and she knew me better than I know myself.

New Art: The Outsiders

The Outsiders

36" x 36"

Acrylic & Pastel on Canvas

Detail:



My work is represented by Monkdogz Urban Art. To see more, visit my art site.